Saturday, May 28, 2011

Staring At The Blank Page

I'm love the idea of always learning something new.  It is the best way I know of to bust the blues.  I especially love being able to take an art class.  Last week, I took a silk painting class.  I love painting and dying fabrics, but I really never know what I'm doing and so the outcome, sometimes isn't all that I love. I figured the class would give information and in this case with painting silk, knowledge is powerful.
As part of the class, we were working on this hoops with silk stretched on them.  Once the instructor said, "the best way to do this is to just start playing and painting."  The white hoops took control of me.  I sat staring at these cheap little blank hoops.  My mind flooded with my own words that I challenge the people I coach.  Words like, "what's getting in your way of creating what you want here?"  Or "What would you like to do here?"  I mean it was a blank space to play in.  I was blocked.  I looked around at my class mates, they were busy painting.  They weren't blocked.  They were having fun.  They looked like they knew what they wanted to create here.  I didn't.  I felt blocked and stupid.  I felt blocked and embarrassed. I felt like I wanted to just go home.  I closed my eyes, as I didn't want to see the white fabric laughing at me.  I heard the instructor again. "The best way to get use to how amazing paint on silk is, is to just jump in."  I opened my eyes.  He was smiling at me.  He was right.  It was time to jump in. I asked myself again. "What would you like to do here?"  Well, paint on silk or better yet learn to paint on silk.   Play.   No where in those words was paint the greatest silk painted hoop the world has ever seen.  I jumped in.  Not know what I was painting.  Just allowing the paint and the silk to talk to me (the silk did start to talk, once it stopped laughing).  I was amazed at what I learned that night and what I created.  I didn't want the class to end.   I came home charged up and wanting to cover everything I own in hand painted silk.  My 3 hoops are great reminders to me.  To trust I know how to paint or write on the blank space that is given to all of us everyday. Also, it is okay not to know what I'm going to create.  Lastly, it is really okay to play.   There is so much learning in playing.

My theater projects are coming to an end for the season.  For me, it is one less time consuming thing on my schedule.  As I look towards having some unscheduled time, I sort of panic, a bit.  What to do with this time?  I'm never a loss for projects and things that need tending to, and yet, I'm longing to do something with some meaning.  I'm not so sure what this looks like, I'm in the discovery phase.  I'm staring at this blank space.
I'm excited.  I'm open to what I can create for myself.  When painting silk it takes only a drop of color to fill the space.  A small drop and wow!  I'm going to see how putting out a small drop of color in other areas of my life will fill in the space.  I'm thinking drop by drop something fantastic will be created.

How do you approach the blank page?  Does it scare you or block you?  Or do you just jump in?

Until next week...create to feel great!
32 projects complete 20 to go.

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful and inspiring, as always, DeeDee...also, selfishly reassuring that I'm not the only one left asking "what do I do now?" Looking forward to the next time we talk, whether it's next week when I'm on the road, or the week after. Thank you for being you, and being out there, keeping me motivated. <3