Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop

This week, my dear sweet Mickey Grrrl's kidney values rose a bit.  She's lost some weight and is looking old.  She's still bright and alert, but her time is growing near.  It's a very tough time for me.  I'm finding myself grieving and going through the stages of grief.  I read some articles on anticipatory grief.  Studies show that is it more powerful than grief at the time of a loss.  Almost all the articles suggest that one of the best ways to deal with this process is get creative.  They suggest a person engage in creative activities.  That's a good suggestion for any thing we are going through.  I often hear the comment that I do so much all the time.  I do. Why?  It is how I engage in life.  I'm most present when I'm creating, which most think of as me doing stuff.  I've been told I exhaust them will all I do.  I don't feel I do all that much all the time.  I have spurts.  I do have my bouts of sitting and being.  Just being.  The mix, most times is good.  With what I'm dealing with concerning MickeyGrrrl, I will confess the level of doing is a bit more intense.  The times I'm sitting, I'm sitting with her or Gus or Sam or Broadside.  Sometimes I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. When I get over whelmed with that feeling, I get to creating.  It helps me.  It helps those I love who are in my life, watching me going through this challenging time.  I just can't sit and wait for the other shoe to drop.  I want to create something with whatever time we have left.  I know MickeyGrrrl is happy when she knows I'm creating something.  That's fine by me.

Until next week...create to feel great!

36 projects complete!  16 to go!

This week's project is my version of my Grandma's bread.  She use to call it Gluten Bread (folks these days would run for the hills at the term).  She would bake a least three loafs of this a week every week until she could no longer make bread.  I've never had much success with bread, but this is so simple and wonderful.  Now I can make sandwiches for Broadside's lunch with bread that I know what's in it.  (flour, salt, yeast, water, and some herbs- really that's it) and less than an hour of my time.  This photo is of the French bread version.  I also made a sandwich version (Broadside ate most of it before I could get a photo).  Now I can add bread maker to my list of homestead activities.