Staring At The Blank Page

I'm love the idea of always learning something new.  It is the best way I know of to bust the blues.  I especially love being able to take an art class.  Last week, I took a silk painting class.  I love painting and dying fabrics, but I really never know what I'm doing and so the outcome, sometimes isn't all that I love. I figured the class would give information and in this case with painting silk, knowledge is powerful.
As part of the class, we were working on this hoops with silk stretched on them.  Once the instructor said, "the best way to do this is to just start playing and painting."  The white hoops took control of me.  I sat staring at these cheap little blank hoops.  My mind flooded with my own words that I challenge the people I coach.  Words like, "what's getting in your way of creating what you want here?"  Or "What would you like to do here?"  I mean it was a blank space to play in.  I was blocked.  I looked around at my class mates, they were busy painting.  They weren't blocked.  They were having fun.  They looked like they knew what they wanted to create here.  I didn't.  I felt blocked and stupid.  I felt blocked and embarrassed. I felt like I wanted to just go home.  I closed my eyes, as I didn't want to see the white fabric laughing at me.  I heard the instructor again. "The best way to get use to how amazing paint on silk is, is to just jump in."  I opened my eyes.  He was smiling at me.  He was right.  It was time to jump in. I asked myself again. "What would you like to do here?"  Well, paint on silk or better yet learn to paint on silk.   Play.   No where in those words was paint the greatest silk painted hoop the world has ever seen.  I jumped in.  Not know what I was painting.  Just allowing the paint and the silk to talk to me (the silk did start to talk, once it stopped laughing).  I was amazed at what I learned that night and what I created.  I didn't want the class to end.   I came home charged up and wanting to cover everything I own in hand painted silk.  My 3 hoops are great reminders to me.  To trust I know how to paint or write on the blank space that is given to all of us everyday. Also, it is okay not to know what I'm going to create.  Lastly, it is really okay to play.   There is so much learning in playing.

My theater projects are coming to an end for the season.  For me, it is one less time consuming thing on my schedule.  As I look towards having some unscheduled time, I sort of panic, a bit.  What to do with this time?  I'm never a loss for projects and things that need tending to, and yet, I'm longing to do something with some meaning.  I'm not so sure what this looks like, I'm in the discovery phase.  I'm staring at this blank space.
I'm excited.  I'm open to what I can create for myself.  When painting silk it takes only a drop of color to fill the space.  A small drop and wow!  I'm going to see how putting out a small drop of color in other areas of my life will fill in the space.  I'm thinking drop by drop something fantastic will be created.

How do you approach the blank page?  Does it scare you or block you?  Or do you just jump in?

Until next week...create to feel great!
32 projects complete 20 to go.

Avoiding "The Crankies"

There are times in life when we are just plain cranky.  There are just some days, I wake up and I'm feeling cranky.  Some babies have days like this.  It usually means that something is "off" in our world.   We are getting ill or our body hurts or there is just too much stress and junk in our lives and we are weighed down by it.   I usually can snap myself out of being cranky by acknowledging it and looking for the source of the cranky mood.   It's like weeding a garden.   When the little young weeds begin to appear, it is much easier to pull them out than the older better established weeds.  The roots are deeper and they are really down want to go away.  As Voltaire so nice put it in his work, Candide- "This is the best of all possible worlds.  But we all must tend our gardens."   And has RuPaul's Drag U professor Morgan McMichaels as put it..."Check yourself before you wreck yourself."  Outside forces, events and people can effect our moods but we are the only ones responsible for the shifting of our moods.  It is being aware of what triggers your mood.  I recently discovered that there are certain businesses I simply can not deal with. Or if I do, I have really steady my mindset.  Most big box stores have this effect on me.  I don't shop at them, and when I do, I have to be very well rested and fed and watered.   (I haven't been to a Costco in years or Ikea.)  I admire the folks who love and live to shop at those places, I just can't.   It ruins my mood and it's not worth it.   There are some people I have to interact with in my life that do the same thing for me.  I have to be hyper aware of my mindset and hold it in my mind as I interact with them.  It takes energy and awareness to avoid "The Crankies".  It's worth it.  Here's some good news, on the other side of this coin is a relaxed state of mind,and a flowing state of being.   I don't know what to call it, as it means something different to everyone.  I do know it is not being cranky.   Person can't "do" cranky.  It's "being" cranky.  For me the state of being is always in the moment.
Being cranky.  Being happy.  Being positive.  Being joyful. 
I started this post by saying some days I wake up being cranky.  On that day that is my truth.  And yet it doesn't have to stay that way, unless I want it to.  When this happens I start pulling weeds, in order to see all the beauty that is growing in my garden.

How do you avoid "The Crankies"?   What shape is your "garden" in these days?  Is it in need of some weeding?

Until next week...create to feel great.    31 projects complete 21 to go.
This weeks project is another Swap-bot craft project.   My partner's profile said she likes coffee and teas, so I created a fabric coffee sleeve and a envelope style tea bag carrier.  I hope she likes them.

The Cool Down Victory Lap

As busy as I have been in the last six weeks, this past week been a lot less filled with busy.  A good friend reminded me that I've been running a marathon and marathon runners don't just stop, they cool down. She reminded me that I can't just go from running a 100 miles a minute with my hair on fire, to a complete stop.  She's right.  Time for what I'm calling- a cool down victory lap.  With this mind set, I've found my self, stepping easily into the moment and staying there.   It's a sweet spot.  No struggle, lots and lots of great insights, lots and lots of great conversations with great people I love so much.  Meeting new friends.  In the "lots and lots of great conversations with great people" category, a flood of amazing thoughts came to my mind this week.   Here are my highlights-



Wooti- doesn't like getting
his picture made. 

 In a conversation around negativity, a friend commented that our culture loves the victim. We do. Our entertainment industry is so focused on victim hood.  Once we are no long a victim the attention shifts to the next victim.   Later in my week, I meet the most amazing dog I've ever met.   His name is Wooti.  His momma rescued him when she was in Ethiopia.   He lost a leg from an injury and now runs on 3.  While we were having coffee outside on a fantastic sunny day, people were coming up to meet Wooti.  He is beautiful, wise and loving. A person can not be drawn to him.  Not one person, said, "Oh, poor Wooti.  You lost your leg."  They celebrated his story of survival and finding true love.  They all walked away, after meeting him, with a lighter energy and a smile.  I'm still feeling Wooti's magic.  I think of him or look at his photo and get chills and smile bigger than I've ever smiled.  I feel sorry that Wooti had to go through what he went through to get to where he is now, as I don't think any creature, animal or human, should have to suffer in any way.  And yet, we do.  And yet, here's Wooti.  Not a victim, but a celebration of life and how to turn it around for the positive.  Woot tells me that we don't have to celebrate the victim.   We  get them and us to a place of healing, in order to celebrate the good in life.   If Wooti were a human, people might be tempted to call him a hero.  I think that word gets used to much.   They would call him a survivor.   I call him magical.  Or Wootman the Amazing.  I feel everyone has that magic, once we shift from focusing on victim to focusing on the magic of transformation.

Honesty check...do you celebrate the victim?- Maybe just a little?  Do you like being celebrated as a victim?  We all have times we sit on the pity pot.  I'm not taking about that.   I'm talking about placing our focus on victim.  The idea of victims.  How can you get them or you to a place of healing, in order to celebrate all the good in life and run your victory lap?

Until next week....create to feel great!
30 projects completed!  22 to go!

Another hard to photograph project

My project this week was an easy one and honors...animals.  It came from this packaged craft.  So, cool. Engraving art.  Inexpensive and any one can do this.  It's sort of a paint by numbers kind of craft.  Perfect for me this week.  'Cause aferall, I'm running my cool down victory lap!

Shakespeare Kickin' My Rear

I've been working on a huge costume project.  It a production of FORTINBRAS by Lee Blessing.  I've been looking forward to creating this show since September.   I cut my creative costume "teeth" on designing and building big shows. This is Lee Blessing's take on what happens after HAMLET.  It's a comedy, and a good one at that.
For whatever reason, this show has been a huge challenge for me.  It challenged my attitude, my creativity and my resolve.   My attitude and love of costuming dropped and left me about 10:30 pm last night. This morning the stress broke me.   It was photo shoot day. To be followed by first dress.
In my broken state I checked with myself.   I had let pain and fear of the costumes not being good enough or the right thing get to me.  My dear husband, Broadside, listen to me patiently as we walked to get some coffee and I cried.  He put his arm around me and said, "You've been saying it's a little tense at the theater and people have fallen down on their jobs. You've let their energy get to you."  Later that day, one of my kids (who is working the show), said to me, "If you want things to go badly and you focus on it, it will go badly."  I got fed my own medicine, in a large dose.  This afternoon, the actors got into costume.  The energy shifted to one of happiness, joy and relaxed excitment.  One actor said. "now we have a show!"
When stressed it's so easy to slip into negative and fearful thoughts.  Negativity loves tried, overworked, over extented and not taking care of ones self.  We sometimes get in that state of mind.  It is when we are in that state of mind, we need to call on our support system.  I'm lucky to be married to a man who understands theater.  On this show, I'm lucky to have one of my kids (grow up and making me proud), and a group of fun loving actors.  I'm greeted with love and good energy from them, even under the most tense situations.
The show is going to be good.  The actors are some of the best my city has to offer.  I'm finally relaxed enough to be proud of my work, my creations.  Out of the 30 plus costumes, I have two the need a little alterations.  Not bad.

I usually don't use my costume work as a project of the week, but I built this wonderful hat, and folks have been asking to see a bit of my design work.

How does the energy around you effect you?  When you get stressed where does your attitude go?

Until next week...create to feel great!
29 projects complete! 23 to go!

Worry Warts

Lately, I've found myself in many conversations about worry.  I'm beginning to think, that the human mind loves to gravitate towards worry.  Worry to the point of making our selves sick with worry.  Or creating "worry warts."  Little bumps on our lives that prevent forward movement.   In thinking about worry and why we love it so much, I've formed some theories   We love worry so much, because if we worry and fret, then we have no time for any thing else.  That anything else could be something positive in our lives, a dream realized, a feeling of joy, freedom from pain (emotional or otherwise).  Yick! Who would want all that?  Worry is much better, right?  It's sooooo much easier to sit and stew in worry than, plan and create in a forward positive movement.  It's much easier to make a big mess of our lives than to build something beautiful and strong and long lasting.  All that positive stuff always has to be tended to, who needs that? We can worry and do other mindless things, nonconstructive things at the same time.  With this we can find ourselves in a nice little pattern that makes it impossible to move forward or find joy and passion in life.  But hey, we have our worry and our doubts and if we are down enough, we have lots of company for our negativity. (Remember, misery loves company.)  There's a lot of value in worry.  Why would we ever want to give that up?
My answer is for an experience of true joy and love this world has to offer. Health and energy-vitality. The work in creating and tending to a rich full beautiful life is worth it.  The feeling of accomplishment and gratitude is well worth all the effort.
Yes, worry and negativity is easy.  And I've said this a lot, there is all sorts of support for negativity out there in the world.  Being positive and free of worry is a challenge.  It takes work.  Work when things are going well and fine and work when things are spiraling downward.  The rewards are great.  In your total being.  Mind, body and soul.  There is support out there for the positive.   And I've discovered by adopting a positive, not worry mind set that there is an internal support that comes from within.  I feel stronger and confident in me.  I have an inner knowing that I can create anything.  I can make my life happen. Yes, negative stuff happens.  Sometimes things don't go as I want them to.  I have times of worry.  It is all part of life.
How do I stop my worrying jags? I start by focusing not on the worry.  I don't even focus I what I want to happen.  I start by placing my focus on what the universe or God or high power is.  I usually start with the Universe is abundant.  The Universe is love.  The Universe is compassionate.   These thoughts and many more I focus on instead of the worry.  Everytime, I start to worry I turn my focus to The Universe is thoughts.  All positive. All good.  It seems easy, because it is.  The trick is to use it.
Are you creating "worry warts"? 

For my project this week, I created a bumpy crocheted "Spring Is Here" tote bag.
28 projects complete 24 to go!

Also, Congratulations...Prince William and Catherine Middleton.  It was a joy watching your wedding.

The "T" And Nothin' But The "T"

The "T".  Drag Queen slang for The Truth.   I believe in speaking my "T". and  in tellin' the "T".  I have not always been that way.  Years ago, a good friend and mentor gave me the feedback that they never knew what the goods were with me.  They felt that in my efforts to please everyone and keep the peace I would play both sides against each other.  Powerful feedback.  It changed my life.  From the day of receiving that feedback, I shift my life.  I vowed to tell the Truth, and people in my life would know where they stand with me and I stopped playing both ends against each other.  More life changing.
Speaking my Truth is power and positive.  It is a source of strength, when spoken from compassion, it draws me closer to the people in my life.  It also comes with this tremendous sense of freedom.  I feel like I have nothing to hide or worry about.

What stops us from telling our Truth?  For me it was fear of rejection.  Fear of owning my own thoughts.  Fear of what I had to say might not please someone.  Fear of me being myself.   All this fear leads to anger, and anger is well...negative.
Like shifting any life long habit, it take time, patience and practice.   Like shifting any negative to the positive, it is worth the time and effort.

Do you speak your "T"?  What stops you from speaking your "T"?  How does it feel to speak your "T"?

Until next week...create to feel great.
27 projects complete 25 to go.

This week's project is a vintage book mark.   Vintage lace on wool lavender felt.  Sweet and simple. 

The Power Of Words

Our English Language is so complex in some ways and so simple in others.  I always struggled to learn foreign languages.  I'm not good at it.  I speak a little Cat French but very little. There are times when Mickeygirl walks off in disgust at my lack of Cat French speaking skills.  Yet I love the English Language.  I've had page a day calendars with a new word everyday.  I like to play word games.  I love to write, and I certainly love to talk.
This week my lesson around the language came in an odd form.  The choice of words I've heard people use.
I'm not talking about swear words, although I think some of these words might qualify in my mind.  I'm talking about the use of words I see as negative in just everyday talk, and folks being okay with that.  The word I'm talking about is "hate".  I might be being sensitive here, but I feel the word hate needs to be used with caution.  And yet, it is okay to hate vegetables, flavors of ice cream, types of music, TV shows, etc.  For some people that word is okay for everyday all the time usage.  For me I think it needs to be reserved for evil and extreme cases. In my opinion, if folks checked the use of that one word in their everyday speak, I feel their mind set would move closer to the positive.  I feel it is that strong and powerful of a word.  Even as I write this, I'm feeling a little down.
I believe in the power of words.  Our choice of words is one the areas we can control in our lives, and help us create a more positive outlook.  If you don't believe me...try it sometime.  Take a word that has a negative charge to it and find a more positive word or way to express that thought.  Example...Instead of hating that cauliflower or okra.  Don't really care for cauliflower or okra.  Yeah it's simple, but shifting our thought patterns are just that...simple.
Are there other words that charge negative that make feel less than energized and positive?  How do you want to shift them to the positive?

I'm wanting Spring, so to coax it to get there, I thought maybe a Spring hat pincushion might be in order.  Complete with it's own hat box.

Until next week create to feel great!
26 projects complete!  26 to go!  It's Half Time!